Boxing in Bangkok

The highlight of my time in Bangkok was easily Muay Thai, or better known as Thai boxing, infamous for its flying elbows and knee jabs and probably what most people will recognize from Bloodsport. A chief difference is that we didn't see Van Damme or anyone near his size. instead the line-up featured the pre- and barely pubescent flyweights maxing out at no more than 120 pounds. i guess these are legit fighters here in thailand, but for westerners, most of us haven't been that light since we were 9 and even then probably pudgy and gooey instead of visible ribs and lean muscle.

but let there be no mistake. though young and scrawny as hell, these were some mean little bastards full of all the youthful rage and boiling hormones and willy-nilly untempered fighting that you can detect immediately in the deranged eyes of a teenager. the first two warm-up matches were strictly boxing by slightly older and heavier kids than we would see the rest of the night. but soon we would come to appreciate how civilized and relatively harmless these engagements were compared to the gruesome battles to come. because regular boxing is a war of attrition, an endurance battle where you slowly wear down your opponent with well-timed combos and steady shots to the body and head. these two matches went the distance and ended in a judges' decision after the fifth round.

thai boxing, on the other hand, is both more refined and more brutal. paying homage to the noble beginnings of the sport as a martial art (and also royal entertainment), the fighters enter with a headdress on that resembles a noose with the excess rope lopped off and hanging necklaces of flowers draped over their shoulders. once disrobed, they begin a procession around the ring that is accompanied by the music of several drums and some sort of eastern lute stereotypical of snake charming. during this procession they bow at every corner making a brief prayer, until they return to their original corner then circle to the center to peform a mostly seated dance that appears to mock both the swan and the eagle. this is all done in no particular hurry and seems to be taken very seriously by the contenders and spectators alike and is quite fascinating...at least the first couple times. unfortunately, this ritual is performed before each of the 7 matches and often takes more time than the fights.

once the dance is done the ref reviews the rules with the fighters and they return to their corners for a final pep talk and extremely vigorous rubdown from their many coaches some of which appear to be overinvolved dads and uncles who no doubt were fighters themselves in previous generations and are reliving the glory days vicariously through their sons/nephews. see, things aren't so different here! my favorite part though is when the ref visits each corner to do a last inspection and wails each fighter in the groin to be sure he's wearing a cup.

the match consists of 5 rounds of 3 minutes or is called if there is a serious knockout in which a fighter is knocked on his ass and doesn't get up quickly enough. this part seems to be at the referee's discretion and mostly an obvious decision but occassionally overly protective. anyway, it's the vicious combination of elbows, knees and full-on kicks that make muay thai so interesting. since the fighters do not wear shoes, the first thing you hear is the smart thwack of skin against skin as a fighter delivers a quick kick to the ribs of his opponent. most fighters will use these kicks to keep their opponent at bay or punches to do the same. then once in close proximity there's an exchange of knee jabs to the gut and an occassional elbow to the face until a stalemated headlock/hiplock is achieved and the ref separates the pair.

in the first couple matches, the fighters were really too small to do much damage and their stamina seemed to trump their strength. both ended in a decision that in my estimation really could have gone either way. it should be mentioned however, that fighters are judged not only on how successfully they land and block blows, but also on some vague sense of style and rythym which explains why they appear to be grooving and tapping their feet on the mat in sync to the music that is played continuously throughout the match.

as the fighters started to get a little bigger though, and more importantly a little older, it became evident that it's a seriously rough sport. not only did these mid-teens engage in blatant taunting via gesturing eyebrows and even outright smirks mid-fight, but most of their bouts ended with a pretty stunning finishing blow that had the loser sprawled on the mat in a complete daze. i can't pretend to imagine what a high kick to the side of the head feels like or how much a barrage of 10 sharp knee thrusts to the ribcage hurts, but it looks bad.

coming soon...
Khao San needs bohemians not frat boys
We are Ugly Americans, but deal with it
Khao Lak, from sea lice to tsunami restoration

So what the crap (!) ...

This is roughly the pronunciation (if you were to affect a ridiculous borat-style "i could be from anywhere that people talk funny" kind of accent) of the thai catch-all greeting and also epitomizes my first 24 hours here.

Bangkok is a lot like Delhi though much less crowded and with less aggressive swindlers. But same rikshaws (here tuk tuk), same clusterfuck traffic, same signs of rapid industrialization that never came into its own. While Thailand does benefit from a healthy tourist industry and plenty of successful exports like clothes and rice, by and large the Thai of Bangkok are simple vendors and service people. They make their money from selling you food and carting you around the city.

What they do have are some sweet ass scooters. All the young men zip around on these 100cc (think lawnmower engine) bikes weaving in and out of traffic, seems very practical. My first thought which i shared with M&D on the car ride into the city from the airport was that I wanted to drive one around bangkok like the kid who just flew by us, but no sooner had the words left my mouth than that same kid was eating pavement while his bike skid into the median. luckily, he got up quickly, relatively unscathed but not without warranting a prophetic told-you-so that even has me apprehensive. whatever.

So there are like a shitload of tourists here. i don't know how but it seems like we outnumber the thai 3-to-1, not just at the monuments and down the backpacker's alley but like seriously everywhere. it is CHEAP (minimalist, but clean hostel last night was $8/night), and the Thai are very accomodating, and there is a booming sex business here, but seriously how do this many fucking people not have to work in November?!? hopefully they're not all on unemployment or the global economy is going to hell in a handbasket (btw, where does this bizarre expression come from?)!

The Temple of the Emerald Buddha yesterday was impressive. It's amazing how each culture can develop such a distinct stylistic vernacular while having such transparent borders and ethnic divisions. The thai thing, or maybe it's a theravedic thing, is to use LOTS of shimmering gold leafing and mosaics of colored glass on buildings with deadly points at every corner. Religious iconography is rife with these canine-faced demonic dragons that i assume represent the various incarnations of evil spirits and worldly oppressions. Never seen anything like it.

But the net effect of the glistening facades and interior detail is undoubtedly to convey the luminance of the world beyond and seated in front of the majestic throne where the emerald buddha (in fact it is solid jade) sits certainly has the desired transcendent influence. One can imagine that while in deep contemplation the warming glow must inspire a reassuring calm.

My parents hotel is pretty dope. It could be anywhere really, and i'm sure since it's a hilton endeavor it probably will be soon. but it's nice and maybe the only thing that's gotten them through the first day. Our morning buffet was appropriately continental with smoked salmon, veggie sushi, dim sum, an indian beef dish, crossaints and brie, and fresh fruit. it was all i could do not to totally pig out. fortunately for the hotel, we arrived late right as they were closing so i only had a chance to make two plates worth of damage. The pool is also pimped and is where i'll be midday today when it's hot as shit and no one really wants to be walking around with sweaty balls sticking to their leg at every stride. you know what i mean.

OK, there's lots more but i shouldn't spend the whole morning in the A/C or it'll fuck me up the rest of the day. besides, i don't like the feeling of not knowing whether the foreigner looking over my shoulder can read english or not and it's starting to creep me out.

The day before I leave there are a few things that weigh on my mind.

First, election day. Will passionate liberal independent-minded Americans show up on November 7th or will the god-fearing closed-minded blindly patriotic dominate the polls as usual? How pissed off and disaffected is the Left? Can tolerance ever defeat intolerance (can you really kill someone with kindness???)? There can be no greater time to witness a sea change, but i won't be shocked if the status quo is upheld. We have to hope that the christian right sticks to their moral high road and is so disgusted by evangelical leaders accepting BJs from meth-dealing male escorts that they decide not to vote this year. Something tells me that will not be the case. But the polls say if either Tennessee or Virginia turns blue then Congress goes back to the Democrats. So keep the fingers crossed for now, I guess. We can ask the more important question later: will it make a difference?

Second, tsunamis. Two years ago Thailand suffered a devastating tsunami that leveled beachfront communities and killed thousands. Admittedly, tsunamis are caused by largely unpredictable geological events and the probability of repeat catastrophe is extremely low. But it still makes me nervous. Then again, it's not like i was just living along one of the world's most active fault lines for the past three years which has probably killed more Bay Area residents in the past 20 years than any natural disasters in Southeast Asia...statistics, shmatistics.

Third, coup(s) de etat(s). Two months ago, a military junta, under the auspices of the beloved king, ousted the prime minister, sequestered all national media, and suspended government. Miraculously, there was almost no bloodshed and only a few lonely protesters were thrown in jail. Everything seems to have returned to normal, but it's hard for me to fathom how this kind of governments overthrow can take place overnight with little to no consequence... Oh well, Amie and Pete are already over there having a great time for some national 60th anniversary celebration, so if they're not worried, then i'm not worried.

Fourth, family time. There will be a lot of it. Part of me has always felt like this was kind of a weird idea to invade my sister's honeymoon and hang out for a couple weeks. Kind of like that neighbor who likes to drop in uninvited and won't shut the fuck up when all you want to do is have a nice dinner and relax but you're too nice to say anything. But i am resolved to be as happy-go-lucky as possible and am putting Operation Avoid and Deflect into effect when i feel annoyance start to creep into my subconscious when dealing with daddio.

Fifth, life in (the) Sac. As always, I expect this travel time to provide substantial reflection on where my life is, how far it has come, where it is going. This is obviously a pivotal moment when anything can happen. Will i become a freelance-writing bike mechanic who DJs in his spare time? Will Katherine and I start the most unthinkably amazing highly-sustainable free-spirited cooperative community known to man? Will our roommates ever realize that a job is just a job and the fruitless search for entertainment and distraction could end if they would just embrace the very endeavor we have before us?

Nothing is lacking but imagination and inertia. I am filled with excitement thinking about the adventures ahead.